Reddit users share the disproven and useless things Gen-X’ers were told growing up. Unsurprisingly, some people still believe them today.
We all heard growing up that you shouldn’t swim for at least thirty minutes after eating. I always questioned this but believed my mother blindly because, hey, I’m just a kid, and Mom knows best. As it happened, that turned out to be untrue, as were many other things we were told growing up.
Reddit user u/monsterpupper was curious about which things Gen-X’ers were told growing up that ended up being untrue. He asked, “What would some of our disproven facts be?”
Thousands of Gen-X’ers shared the big myths they were told. Here’s a sampling of some of the best comments:
1. “I thought we were going to be offered drugs by strangers a whole lot more.”
Not once did I ever find an edible in my Halloween basket. My disappointment was monumental.
2. “The food pyramid is a healthy way to eat.”
I remember four food groups. Period. The food pyramid means nothing now, considering the latest government-funded version says Lucky Charms and healthier than steak. Okay. Whatever.
3. “You won’t always walk around with a calculator in your pocket.”
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine. Then, I’d go back to middle and high school and gently yet firmly tell all the teachers who said this to me to suck it!
4. “The safest place to be during a nuclear strike is under your desk.”
I can’t even…
5. “I took my son to a dinosaur exhibit; literally everything I learned about dinosaurs is now wrong, including names of dinosaurs.”
I have vague memories of being taught that dinosaurs evolved into modern-day reptiles. Now they’re teaching that dinosaurs evolved into modern-day birds? I’d love to see the evidence on that past the Jurassic Park reference.
6. “Eggs are bad for you. No, wait, they’re good for you…hang on, are they bad again?”
I’m gonna go ahead and file this one under “whatever,” too. Just scramble that shit up, throw some Colby-jack cheese on it, maybe some hot sauce or Old Bay, and serve ’em up, baby!
7. “Your child is hyperactive solely because of sugar.”
Because we didn’t have ADHD back in the day. Now everyone and everything is in the spectrum.
8. “If I swallow gum, it’ll take seven years to digest.”
I can only speculate that was a far scarier proposition than being told I might choke.
9. “Not on fire as much as I thought I would be. So much ‘Stop, drop, and roll’ growing up.”
Based on conversations with the occasional Gen-Z’er, it’s my understanding that this isn’t taught in schools anymore. I do recall having this directive running through my mind when I blew my face up. I’m sure it would’ve been helpful had I not worn fire-retardant pajamas.
10. “Don’t sit too close to the TV, or you’ll go blind. Then computers came, and we would have to spend eight-plus hours at work with a screen five inches from our eyes.”
I remember some other activities that, if overdone, would also cause blindness. I’m happy to report I can still see fine. More or less.
11. “Acid rain wasn’t an actual threat to the extent it was touted. Oh, and killer bees!!! 😆”
I vividly recall the acid rain scare back in the 80s. I chalk that up to the media lying the way they do. The precursor to global warming, climate change, or whatever nonsense they’re calling it now. It didn’t scare me nearly as bad as the threat of nuclear war, which would’ve been far worse. Funny how things haven’t changed much in forty years.
12. “The tongue has a map of different taste buds that taste different things.”
This was definitely one of those “I fucking knew it!” moments. I guess the science wasn’t settled after all.
13. “Japanese cars are poor quality and unreliable.”
Doc Brown: “No wonder this circuit failed! It says made in Japan.”
Marty: “What do you mean, Doc? All the best stuff is made in Japan.”
14. “Slightly foolish but true, LOL: that quicksand would be a real-life problem.”
We can thank Saturday morning cartoons for tropes such as this. Hot lava and quicksand were the two primary reasons we, as kids, would jump from piece of furniture to furniture. Someone alert Princess Buttercup. She had nothing to fear in the fire swamp.
15. “You will have to write in cursive for the rest of your life.”
It’s one of our secret weapons against Gen-Z. Many literally cannot read it. Another is the manual transmission/driving stick shift—an excellent auto theft deterrent.
16. “Plastic bags will save the Earth because we won’t have to kill as many trees to make brown paper bags to carry groceries.”
I never liked plastic bags. I predicted this when society shifted to them because they were so concerned about the trees. I said people would start to bitch about how these things didn’t degrade quickly. Here we are, banning plastic bags because they’re bad for the environment, so let’s return to wiping out the trees! Air doesn’t matter as long as the seas are clear.
17. “The United States will be using the metric system by 1983.”
I have memories of this being taught in elementary school, after learning about the imperial system. I’m glad they tried before changing our collective minds. When working on cars or anything involving a socket wrench, metric comes up often. And somehow, I always end up losing that fucking 10mm socket more than any other!
18. “Technology would give us so much free time in the future that we’d only have to work 5–10 hours a week. And we’d be able to do it from home, and employers would be on board with it. That one still hurts.”
I don’t recall this prediction. Perhaps it was my blue-collar upbringing where I was told, constantly, I’d be working forty-hour weeks until I died. Now that seems to be a production that wasn’t bullshit!
19. “Mikey didn’t die after eating Pop Rocks while drinking a Coca-Cola.”
I had to look that one up as I’d never heard this one, at least involving Mikey. I can also report without subterfuge that ingested pop rocks and soda don’t cause death, but fuck if it doesn’t cause some discomfort. And burps. So many burps.
What misinformation did your parents feed you as a kid? Sound off below!
Yeah, I remember that one
I had to ask my moms about some of these, inquiring if she knew they were bunk. She claims innocence, that it was information passed down. I guess I believe her.
“Eat! There’s starving kids in Africa”! Uh, yeah mom, well there’s starving kids less than a mile from us. – Donna, born: 1967, Cleveland, Oh.
Too true.